HOORAY FOR ME! I finally have a fucking BLARRG like millions of other narcissistic idiots out there...

I will be filling it with all sorts of nonsense that I personally find amusing, disgusting, entertaining and most likely a little boring. I may even use it as a platform to subject you to my personal artwork, just like EVERY other miserable, aspiring artist out there in internet land. I can't guarantee that it will be an enjoyable experience for you - what I CAN guarantee is that it won't change the world in anyway shape or form.

In fact, I feel kinda sorry for you for stumbling onto this little speck on the World Wide Web, with millions of BLOGS and PORN WEBSITES vying for your precious time, you're wasting it here reading dopey shit. GO AWAY! Do something productive...make a sandwich, build a blanket fort, sit on the toilet and actually read a BOOK...Christ, do anything but hang around here.

That being said, if you have accidentally stumbled onto this site, feel free to poke around and make a comment or two if so inclined. Maybe I'll respond...or not, depends on my mood that day.

I look forward to wasting your time. -KEMO

Sunday, August 14, 2022

My Accidental Toy Career  and How Did I Get Here?! 


Getting ready for a Product Pitch Meeting...hence the tie.

I may have to break this saga into a few posts...out of order naturally, because that's how my brain functions, so you'll have to bear with me. The reason for this particular post is due to a recent discovery in our garage... or as my wife likes to call it: Indiana Jones' Warehouse or Hoarder's Hell.

Well I can't say that I blame her, I've amassed quite a bit of stuff over the past 30+ years and  I'm in the process of unloading via eBAY and private sales and 'discovering' new/old things that I had forgotten about and I thought I'd share some of that with you.

So let's start with the beginning. My Toy career officially began by an accidental meeting at the wrap party for Batman Returns, where I was introduced to a coworker's husband who happened to work for Mattel. He asked me what my plans were and I told him I needed to find work, either another film OR more likely, a real job so I could move my wife and newborn daughter to California from Roe Dylin'...that will be a separate post as you can imagine. So we got to chatting about toys etc. and I made the statement to him, "I've ALWAYS wanted to make toys, but I'm not and industrial or product designer...I draw cartoons and silly shit. I could never get a toy job, my portfolio isn't set up for that." He told me, Listen, don't worry about that, Mattel is always looking for entry level talent that they can take advantage of, and you'll learn everything on the job..they call Mattel: Toy College, you'll be fine. In fact, they're looking for a designer for Preschool Toys, you should call and make an appointment for an interview...and he gave me a name and number to call: Joe Franke...I'll never forget that moment for as long as I live.


I called Joe Franke the following morning and left a message introducing myself and stating that I would love the opportunity to come by and introduce myself, blah blah blah.. honestly not expecting to ever hear back from him. Well, I think it was a day or two later that he called me back! We set up a time for me to come by for an interview... I was not expecting this and wasn't even close to being prepared. I had been spending all my time looking for work and working on a project with my best friend from college (who's couch I was sleeping on at the time) that involved designing/sculpting 'Garage Kits' that were becoming popular at that time, and we were starting a company called Barker Brothers that focused on Sideshow Oddities model kits...Schlitzie the Pinhead being the first.So, needless to say I was a little concerned about the interview not having a product design portfolio OR any experience. It was Fake it till you Make it time!

Well the day arrived and I drove from the San Fernando Valley to Mattel Headquarters in El Segundo for my interview. I tried to dress as professional as possible but my clothing options were limited ( I had been a shop monkey for months working 20 hour days and all my clothes were thrashed), so I chose the least shitty clothes I had, pulled my hair back in a ponytail thinking it would make me look more professional rather than a dirtbag...forgetting I had 9 earrings at the time.

I was a sight to behold,, I must say. I didn't look like ANYONE in that place, and on top of it I was carrying my portfolio...a custom portfolio I made while in Philadelphia doing illustration/cartooning work. It was a little over the top so it would stand out when you had to leave it behind for the Art Directors to flip through....I wanted them to remember me in any way possible. As you can imagine, I got a few stares lugging this thing around the city and it was no different when I walked into the Design Center and up to the front desk. The receptionist had no idea what the hell to make of me - it was a little uncomfortable, but funny as hell. I introduced myself and told her I was here to meet Joe Franke for an interview, she told me to sit down and she would call him. Luckily I didn't have to wait too long before Joe came down to greet me, I was sitting next to the cafeteria entrance so there was a nonstop parade of some of the most high strung, conservative individuals I have ever seen in one place. Luckily I didn't have to wait long for Joe to come down and introduce himself and take me to a meeting room in the lobby for my interview.

Before we started the interview he asked me what the hell I was carrying under my arm- I told him it was my portfolio. 


The Portfolio



With a confused look on his face he said, What?! Where did you buy that? Or did you make it? I explained how and why I made it and that's how the interview began. as he was flipping through my portfolio and telling me about the job/position etc. He asked if I had a resume. I said of course, it's in the Top Secret pocket of the portfolio. He laughed and said of course it is! As he pulled one out, one of my 'leave behinds' and a polaroid came out with it, something I didn't realize were in there, and they fell on the floor.





(My 'leave behind'...a sort of interactive Business Card made of Color Copies from Kinko's and chipboard. A total arts & craft project that almost resulted in me losing a fingertip more than once.)

This silly Art Project OR Portfolio was made from layers of Foam-Core wrapped in Book Binding Cloth, Canson Paper and Letraset Transfer Type (coated in Matte Medium)...and painted with Student Grade Acrylic paints, and filled with a removable Black Portfolio.

It seemed to me that the interview was going well, and we talked about everything BUT toys and had a couple of laughs-but what the hell did I know. I never had a job interview in a corporate setting for a job I wasn't qualified for so I wasn't sure if he was just being nice to the weirdo sitting across from him. But then he got up and excused himself and said he'd be right back, he wanted to get someone. I said, OK?, and started cleaning up my shit. A few minutes later I'm sitting across from another guy in a white shirt and tie and HE begins to ask me all sorts of questions while looking through my portfolio, NEVER asking about Toy industry experience, mainly my background in Editorial cartooning and the films I worked on...I thought it was strange, but whatever. That's when Joe showed him the goofy polaroid and HE said he'd be right back....he wanted to get someone else. As he was leaving, I looked at Joe and asked him, Ummm, what's going on? He just laughed and said he was going to grab one of the designers to come and look at my portfolio. I figured, what the hell maybe I can actually talk to another artist etc and get a vibe about the place.

....Well the next thing I know he's back and he has 6 other people with him! I'm like, What the HELL is going on?!!Everyone was surprisingly very nice and I found myself giving my 'pitch' and answering all sorts of questions, while that damn polaroid was being passed around. THAT'S when the conversation focused entirely on the photo. So I explained, that it was an accident that is was in there, it was never meant to be seen by anyone except my friend and I, whom I had just started a business with making Resin Model Kits based on Sideshow Freaks...a passion of ours. I told them I would spend the day drawing/designing 6 potential kits that would interlock with one another and form a giant Midway of performers and spell BARKER on the top...our company name was Barker Brothers. And this photo was just a reference shot showing my quick and dirty marker comp mounted on foam core that my partner used as a guide when he sculpted the first kit...Schlitzie the Pinhead. After a few more pleasantries, everyone started to leave and go back to work. Joe told me he'd be right back. So I got all my crap together and packed up. He was back in about 5 minutes and offered me the job. I didn't believe him, for the first time in my life I was speechless. After about a minute or two (the time is kinda fuzzy at this point) I hear myself saying..."can I get back to you? I need to discuss this with my wife." Needless to say, he was a little shocked and mentioned he had other interviews lined up. I told him I understood but that I would let him know tomorrow morning etc.  We shook hands, said our pleasantries and I left.


The infamous polaroid....and my Patron Saint...Schlitzie.

I called Mia as soon as I got back to my friend's place and told her the good news...but it didn't go over as well as I liked. Ya see,We had agreed on a deadline. A deadline for me to get a REAL job with benefits etc. by March 1st...and I was calling her on Feb. 27th. So, she thought I was calling to tell her I was coming home but then I told her I got a job with benefits, all I had to do was call tomorrow and say yes and it was mine.... She was happy but also crushed at the same time. We had been apart for 7 months, while she was raising our daughter and I was looking for a REAL job to move them out to California. It was a really tough decision to make as you can imagine, but she told me to go for it- so I did, and she's wanted to kill me ever since!  I'll be sure to share some of the trauma of what it's like to be married to me in future posts but now is NOT the time. I wanna show you the very FIRST toy I ever designed that actually made it to production AND the Mattel Toy Catalog!

Now, take into account that it usually takes a year+ to see all your hard work culminate into an actual finished product that makes it to the toy shelf....leaving you plenty of time to churn out dozens and dozens AND dozens of other concepts, some your own...some not. 

My FIRST official toy was the Beauty & the Beast Tea Set that was released in 1993 (just in time for my daughter to play with it), and the reason for this post. I discovered a long forgotten box that contained the actual Photo Model for the Packaging and the Catalog shoot! I think I took it home because it was going to be thrown out...the fate of MANY Toy Models and prototypes during the 80's & 90's because there was no space to store all of it...I can hear all you Toy geeks screaming right now. So I thought I'd share a bunch of photos with you. Enjoy!


My first PUBLISHED toy...I was officially a 'Big Deal' now.

The following images are of the Photo Model/Prototype/New York Toy Fair Model  that I saved from the trash. My wife wants me to get rid of this shit.

LUMIERE









MRS. POTTS








  
CHIP









TRAY

(Some of the Rose appliqué have fallen off)






Unfortunately I don't have any images of my sketches or renderings to share....this was pre iPhone days and they kept all our artwork in flat files so I never got the chance to photograph or get copies made. It would have been nice to have the entire set to show and share. Oh well.



I am FOREVER indebted to Schlitzie. It was ALL because of him.
(I'll write a story about him at some point and how a pinhead became the driving force that shaped my career.)













 

















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