HOORAY FOR ME! I finally have a fucking BLARRG like millions of other narcissistic idiots out there...

I will be filling it with all sorts of nonsense that I personally find amusing, disgusting, entertaining and most likely a little boring. I may even use it as a platform to subject you to my personal artwork, just like EVERY other miserable, aspiring artist out there in internet land. I can't guarantee that it will be an enjoyable experience for you - what I CAN guarantee is that it won't change the world in anyway shape or form.

In fact, I feel kinda sorry for you for stumbling onto this little speck on the World Wide Web, with millions of BLOGS and PORN WEBSITES vying for your precious time, you're wasting it here reading dopey shit. GO AWAY! Do something productive...make a sandwich, build a blanket fort, sit on the toilet and actually read a BOOK...Christ, do anything but hang around here.

That being said, if you have accidentally stumbled onto this site, feel free to poke around and make a comment or two if so inclined. Maybe I'll respond...or not, depends on my mood that day.

I look forward to wasting your time. -KEMO

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Monster Jigglers...and we're not talking Jell-O Jigglers


Every drugstore had some version of them. Super soft, molded in an oily rubber, horribly sculpted, horribly painted figures with an elastic cord coming from the top of their head. The were sticky and they were smelly, but that never stopped you picking them up and stretching them. You would stretch them to see how far they would stretch before they tore to pieces. And when they did, (and they always did) you quickly threw it back in the box on the shelf and ran away before you got caught.

These were the toys that your grandmother would buy when she went to Woolworths, Walgreens or CVS. She would be so excited to give it to you, you would smile and say thank you but deep down you were like, "LAME!, this thing sucks, why couldn't she have gotten me (insert cool toy here) instead of this piece of crap?!" But as time went by you would find yourself playing with it more than some of the 'cooler toys' in your collection. It's BECAUSE they were so cheap and shitty, you didn't care if they ripped or the paint rubbed off - you actually played with it!  Whether it was tormenting a sibling, neighbor or a girl at school, these toys got around and were loved to death. Sometimes you'd bite one just to see what it would feel like, then quickly realize it tasted like ass and almost throw up. As a result of all this love there are so few of these original guys around nowadays, and it makes me sad.

That is why they command big bucks within the collectible community, and we fight over them like a bunch of idiots. What the hell is wrong with us?







I see you sniffing one right now.

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