HOORAY FOR ME! I finally have a fucking BLARRG like millions of other narcissistic idiots out there...

I will be filling it with all sorts of nonsense that I personally find amusing, disgusting, entertaining and most likely a little boring. I may even use it as a platform to subject you to my personal artwork, just like EVERY other miserable, aspiring artist out there in internet land. I can't guarantee that it will be an enjoyable experience for you - what I CAN guarantee is that it won't change the world in anyway shape or form.

In fact, I feel kinda sorry for you for stumbling onto this little speck on the World Wide Web, with millions of BLOGS and PORN WEBSITES vying for your precious time, you're wasting it here reading dopey shit. GO AWAY! Do something productive...make a sandwich, build a blanket fort, sit on the toilet and actually read a BOOK...Christ, do anything but hang around here.

That being said, if you have accidentally stumbled onto this site, feel free to poke around and make a comment or two if so inclined. Maybe I'll respond...or not, depends on my mood that day.

I look forward to wasting your time. -KEMO

Tuesday, October 31, 2023

 It's almost Halloween!! 

...so let's put some crap on our faces, make a mess - and get yelled at by Mom.



In 1976, I was 10 years old and in the 4th grade; and you KNOW what that means!
The Scholastic Book Fair!!!

This magical once a year event, which took place during my Elementary School days, was a time, when I took the few dollars my mother/and grandmother gave me and acted like a drug addict trying to purchase my next fix of MAD magazine paperbacks, issues of Dynamite Magazine and any books on monsters or sci-fi nonsense...I was a complete spazz. Well, THIS year was a Banner year for yours truly. I snagged this: Make-Up Monsters book AND these two:


But since it's almost Halloween, I thought I'd share the Make-Up Monsters book with you and teach you the magic of corn syrup, and how it can be used as a 'glue' to adhere shit to your face. This book was my 'go to' for Halloween for the next two years, and times in between when I was feeling adventurous and bored....God, how I made a mess. Anyway, here you go!





It wouldn't be until around 1986, when I purchased my first Misfits 'Fiend' t-shirt, that everything started to make sense to me...





...AND, I'm one of those idiots that has purchased a replacement Fiend shirt EVERY two years or so, because I refuse to grow up.






This was one of the first make-ups that I tried...and learned a valuable lesson...be sure to coat your eyebrows with a thin layer of Vaseline, or you're gonna rip them off when you try to remove this shit from your face. I walked around for a few weeks with half an eyebrow over my right eye, and it never grew back fully after that.



I suddenly had a flashback to 1986 and to a girl I knew from Art School...






This makeup was great-you literally grabbed anything from the kitchen cupboard (primarily breakfast cereal) and glued it to your face using corn syrup!




Another memory of an Art School chick I knew.





What can I say? What a total fucking shit-mess of a makeup...and yes I tried this one as well. Everything slid off my face and was a total shit-show.




I finally found a use for the wax that covered all that cheese I ate, as a kid...make a set of shitty 'Dracula fangs'






We were too poor to have a spare bathing cap laying around, so I ended up wrapping my head in Saran Wrap so I could create this majestic, paper mache' Mummy masterpiece...it was an absolute fucking disaster.






This...THIS, was my masterpiece! But only because my Mom did it for me. I would have fucked it up royally if I did it myself. When it was done, I looked like the perfect geriatric Wolfman. She couldn't 'dye' or paint  the Dr. Scholl's Lamb's Wool to match my hair color, so it stayed white. But I didn't care-I looked cool as shit! AND I didn't use that stupid cheese wax for my teeth, I used the fangs from my Barnabas Collins Skeleton Game instead...and then lost the Goddamn things running the streets on Halloween! But for a brief moment, I looked cool as hell, thanx to my Mom.


The infamous Game...minus the fangs that came with it.







Reptile Man was a total fucking bust for me..I could never get those fucking egg cups to stay in place. they always popped out/off...AND the shitty paper mache' would always fall off my face! 
This make-up looked great in the photo but was a total piece of shit in reality...at least for an impatient 10 year old to accomplish.







Happy Halloween!





























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