It's almost Halloween!!
...so let's put some crap on our faces, make a mess - and get yelled at by Mom.
In 1976, I was 10 years old and in the 4th grade; and you KNOW what that means!
The Scholastic Book Fair!!!
This magical once a year event, which took place during my Elementary School days, was a time, when I took the few dollars my mother/and grandmother gave me and acted like a drug addict trying to purchase my next fix of MAD magazine paperbacks, issues of Dynamite Magazine and any books on monsters or sci-fi nonsense...I was a complete spazz. Well, THIS year was a Banner year for yours truly. I snagged this: Make-Up Monsters book AND these two:
But since it's almost Halloween, I thought I'd share the Make-Up Monsters book with you and teach you the magic of corn syrup, and how it can be used as a 'glue' to adhere shit to your face. This book was my 'go to' for Halloween for the next two years, and times in between when I was feeling adventurous and bored....God, how I made a mess. Anyway, here you go!
It wouldn't be until around 1986, when I purchased my first Misfits 'Fiend' t-shirt, that everything started to make sense to me...
...AND, I'm one of those idiots that has purchased a replacement Fiend shirt EVERY two years or so, because I refuse to grow up.
This was one of the first make-ups that I tried...and learned a valuable lesson...be sure to coat your eyebrows with a thin layer of Vaseline, or you're gonna rip them off when you try to remove this shit from your face. I walked around for a few weeks with half an eyebrow over my right eye, and it never grew back fully after that.
I suddenly had a flashback to 1986 and to a girl I knew from Art School...
This makeup was great-you literally grabbed anything from the kitchen cupboard (primarily breakfast cereal) and glued it to your face using corn syrup!
Another memory of an Art School chick I knew.
What can I say? What a total fucking shit-mess of a makeup...and yes I tried this one as well. Everything slid off my face and was a total shit-show.
I finally found a use for the wax that covered all that cheese I ate, as a kid...make a set of shitty 'Dracula fangs'
We were too poor to have a spare bathing cap laying around, so I ended up wrapping my head in Saran Wrap so I could create this majestic, paper mache' Mummy masterpiece...it was an absolute fucking disaster.
This...THIS, was my masterpiece! But only because my Mom did it for me. I would have fucked it up royally if I did it myself. When it was done, I looked like the perfect geriatric Wolfman. She couldn't 'dye' or paint the Dr. Scholl's Lamb's Wool to match my hair color, so it stayed white. But I didn't care-I looked cool as shit! AND I didn't use that stupid cheese wax for my teeth, I used the fangs from my Barnabas Collins Skeleton Game instead...and then lost the Goddamn things running the streets on Halloween! But for a brief moment, I looked cool as hell, thanx to my Mom.
The infamous Game...minus the fangs that came with it.
Reptile Man was a total fucking bust for me..I could never get those fucking egg cups to stay in place. they always popped out/off...AND the shitty paper mache' would always fall off my face!
This make-up looked great in the photo but was a total piece of shit in reality...at least for an impatient 10 year old to accomplish.
Happy Halloween!
