HOORAY FOR ME! I finally have a fucking BLARRG like millions of other narcissistic idiots out there...

I will be filling it with all sorts of nonsense that I personally find amusing, disgusting, entertaining and most likely a little boring. I may even use it as a platform to subject you to my personal artwork, just like EVERY other miserable, aspiring artist out there in internet land. I can't guarantee that it will be an enjoyable experience for you - what I CAN guarantee is that it won't change the world in anyway shape or form.

In fact, I feel kinda sorry for you for stumbling onto this little speck on the World Wide Web, with millions of BLOGS and PORN WEBSITES vying for your precious time, you're wasting it here reading dopey shit. GO AWAY! Do something productive...make a sandwich, build a blanket fort, sit on the toilet and actually read a BOOK...Christ, do anything but hang around here.

That being said, if you have accidentally stumbled onto this site, feel free to poke around and make a comment or two if so inclined. Maybe I'll respond...or not, depends on my mood that day.

I look forward to wasting your time. -KEMO

Monday, September 2, 2024


 

Let's go to the museum and take selfies!

I went to the Getty Center in Los Angeles the other day for inspiration, ideas and a nice day outta the house. I was all alone, since my wife went home to Rhode Island for a short vacation...while I tried to figure out what the hell I was going to do for Designercon this November. So, I thought I'd treat myself to a relaxing trip to the Getty Center. Well, I've been to the Getty more than two dozen times, and I love it BUT I always forget what a fucking nightmare it is to get into the underground parking. Once you actually make the turn onto Getty Center Drive from Sepulveda Blvd (which is a nightmare unto itself) Your time ranges from 25 min. to 45 min. before you park your car depending on the time of day you reserved your entry into the hallowed halls of the Jean Paul Getty Art Collection. After the delightful short trip up the 'mountain' you arrive at the Italian travertine covered fortress that houses his amazing collection of ARTifacts.


My 'scheduled reservation' was for 11am, and surprisingly I arrived on time. I got in the long ass line to show my reservation ticket; had my backpack searched for guns, bombs OR spray paint and then made my way to the tram that would take me to the acropolis on top of the hill. 


10 minutes later I found myself at the entrance, and began to realize I may have made a horrible mistake..There were kids running all over the place yelling and screaming, large groups of tourists and various social media 'influencers' prancing around and posing for their social media accounts...I wanted to fucking scream. Let me explain. In 2019 I had, what I like to call 'The Incident' which did a number on me, and kind of rewired and/or short circuited my brain a little bit. It altered my brain in such a way that now, I have a hard time dealing with large groups in confined spaces and the handling of multiple simultaneous conversations with ambient noise/music..so yeah, going to a museum on Labor Day weekend was one of my smarter ideas.




I thought that if I started to get overwhelmed, I simply take a break and go outside and relax on the gorgeous grounds for a bit, compose myself and then go back in and repeat as needed. I planned on spending the entire day there so I was in no rush. But I didn't think it was going to be 100 fucking degrees that day...and neither did the rest of the visitors...so the museum was packed with more people than normal escaping the heat and enjoying the air conditioning...I was screwed. Now it was going to be a test of wills, to see how long I could handle it before I started murdering people....and it wouldn't take too long for me to reach that point.

And it all started here-in the Impressionist/Post-Impressionist gallery, the gallery I always start my visits in because I honestly get a kick out of seeing these paintings in person and up close, wishing I could be that free and loose with my brushstrokes instead of the high-strung and tightly wound artist/designer that I am.

I had been waiting patiently for over 10 minutes (from the time I started keeping track) for my turn to inch my way closer to the Van Gogh they have in their collection, for Mr. White Hat to take the perfect photo of his 'influencer wanna-be' girlfriend, that was up to HER standards. This went on forever it seemed, and when they were done I clapped and congratulated both of them on the perfect photo. They weren't amused, but I sure as hell was. By then, it seemed the gallery cleared out of that initial group of people, so I had a minute with the painting all to myself, which was nice until I heard a group of little kids walk in, screaming and horsing around with their parents...it was my cue to get the hell out of there.


So I went to other parts of the museum that weren't as crowded and tried to enjoy myself...


I checked out the MASSIVE pastel Portrait of Gabriel Bernard de Rieux drawn by Maurice-Quentin de la Tour (1739-1741) 79"x59" unframed, but in the Giant gilded frame it's 125"x88"x15"

it really is incredible to view in person, especially if you're into the French Rococo style. I had the room/gallery to myself...so I was very happy.



Then I was surprisingly taken aback by this 1797 painting of the sculptor Philippe-Laurent Roland by Francois-Andre' Vincent...but in particularly, hi hand. The photo doesn't do it justice in the 'color department', there's a lot of subtle stuff going on. I stood there like a complete idiot, staring at his hand. Hands are one of those most difficult things to draw properly, let alone paint-so, I stood there feeling all depressed, looking at this beautifully painted hand.


I snuck into another 'empty' gallery to view another one of my favorite paintings in the Getty's collection by the Expressionist painter Edvard Munch titled Starry Night and a painting by Claude Monet, titled Weeping Willow and the Water-Lily Pond


But my favorite painting in this particular gallery is by the Belgian Symbolist painter, Fernand Khnopff titled Portrait of Jeanne Kefer. I love the composition and color palette, as for the symbolism of the painting: the painting symbolizes the child's vulnerability and uncertainty in facing the outside world...blah, blah, blah. - I always make a point of seeing this painting when I visit the Getty. 


Another favorite piece is this sculpture by Franz Xaver Messerschmidt titled The Vexed Man. I've decided to use this as my new online portrait/avatar as a result of my day at the Getty.


I will end this post with this glorious painting by the French noble portrait painter- Joseph Ducreux, titled Self Portrait Yawning (1783). He was known for his fascination with physiognomy and did other self portraits showcasing extreme expressions (for the time period) that are some of my favorite paintings from that period


I had planned on doing a much longer post about my trip to the Getty, but unfortunately the crowd of idiots prevented me from taking photos and enjoying the art, so I ended up leaving much earlier than I had planned...and before I got arrested for kicking someone's ass. I promised my wife I would behave, while she was gone.