A Traumatic Day at Santa's Village
OK, yeah I know...here's another one of Ken's random Blarrg posts and it's not about anything cool, or interesting AND will waste 10 minutes of my life that I'll never get back. Trust me, I did have a great post in mind, but I immediately got distracted while going through hard drives gathering images for a portfolio update when I stumbled upon this photo...
... and I immediately got distracted by the flood of memories of my SECOND trip to Santa's Village in Jefferson, New Hampshire July 1973.
1973 was a special year for the Morgan boys (Kenny-7 & Kyle-4), we were gonna go to New Hampshire to Santa's Village and hit some other exciting sights along the way! Now, growing up in New England-Rhode island to be specific, your options for entertainment was extremely limited. We weren't rich, so there was no way in hell we were ever going to fly to California and go to Disneyland OR to Florida and visit the recently opened Disney World. As a result, we would end up going to all the 'local' establishments for our entertainment. You have to remember that 'everything' was within a 4 hour driving distance, so there were quite a few options to explore. In 1973 we experienced 4 (that I remember) and I immediately began to think of them as soon as that photographed popped up in my search for new portfolio images.
Our first stop was Storyland , where my brother and I rode the Dutch Flying Shoes...because our Oma & Opa were Dutch/Greek, and had to honor them by flying in a circle, trapped in a giant wooden shoe.
... Next is a quick shot of me being molested by a strange clown, which explains my unhealthy obsession with clowns now that I'm an 'adult'.
The MAJESTY of Storyland-the 'poor'-kids Disneyland!
Our next stop was Clark's Trading Post, unfortunately I don't have any photos of me feeding the bears or riding the railroad-maybe my mother does somewhere. What I remember the most about that place was getting a 'four' foot long rubber snake, the really greasy, squishy kind that would tear really easily if you stretched it really far, AND having a really strong toxic odor of oil. It was great. I'll tell you more about that in a minute.
A few postcards from Clark's trading post
THANK GOD for the internet!!! THIS is the snake I convinced my parents to buy me at Clark's Trading Post, in all it's stinky glory! I'm having serious flashbacks right now... I need to find one so I can add it to my ever growing pile of 'treasures', or SHIT, as my wife calls it.
After our brief stop at Clark'sTrading Post we finally arrive at Santa's Village. This would be my second time there, and my brother's first.
One of the first things you have to do is have your picture taken with the Monster Snowman..
(The Monster Snowman through the years.)
This is a photo of Me and my Oma...I was about 2 years old at the time...and ready for some fun.
And here's photo of me and Kyle farting on the snowman's hand...cuz that's what boys do.
Nothing...and I mean NUTHIN', says Santa's Village & Christmas than a couple of Hillbilly Felt Hats and a Giant Rabbit wearing patched overalls! Another memorable shot, where my brother gets molested by a GIANT possessed Rabbit. ... his ass hurt for a week.
Feeling those Christmas 'vibes', yet?....
Ok, these 2 photos are kinda 'creepy, taken about 5 years apart-I'm in the SAME Sleigh, AND I have the same look on my face, only I'm a little more 'perturbed' in the second one because the sled is going so damn slow...
Me and Dad-my Dad was 22 years old in this photo and wondering what the hell I was doing.
Me & Kyle, share a magical moment. I'm obviously irritated because my sleigh won't fly- but Kyle keeps trying, to no avail.
Having a 'Party' in a giant plaster Birthday Cake at Santa's Party House...I think we farted inside the cake as well.
Which finally brings us to reason for this post...my near-death experience on the GIGANTA metal slide.
This amazing monument to childhood trauma was located in the park along with all you other various playground equipment for us 70's kids to get maimed, while having fun.
\The unsuspecting idiot waving to Mom, not realizing the terror that is about to unfold...
I'm actually surprised as hell that my mother was able to capture the EXACT moment that my heart stopped AND when the pin/badge that was attached to my neckline became loose and stabbed me in the throat as I bounced over that slick metal bump in the slide (which was ADDED for more fun). The only thing she didn't get a photo of was my shit-filled shorts (thank God) and my pale shocked face, trying to smile. I swear to God, this photograph brought back some intense memories for me!
Here's what Giganta the Robot looks like now, new location, the 'bumps' at the end removed and an elevated landing platform(giant drum) to land in/on-I'm sure it's much safer now...lol!
Well, we ended our little trip at Six Gun City (now closed and lost to the ages)
Unfortunately I don't have any photos from that place -only the memories and some images I found online to share. it was a Western themed 'town' in the white mountains of New Hampshire
This was the highlight of the place- a wagon being pulled by a giant Colt (Six Gun)...that I don't think we ever got the chance to experience, which I'm sure pissed me off and in turn, pissed my father off because I was acting like a baby etc. But my clearest memory of that place, is that we stayed overnight, and remember that snake I got at Clark's Trading Post? Well, I terrorized the HELL out of my younger brother-pushed him in a closest and threw the snake in there with him, and wouldn't let him out etc. I did it to him when he went to the bathroom etc....you get the idea. so our mini vacation ended up with me getting my ass slapped and my snake taken away from me...and being grounded.
Six Gun 'Shitty' was shitty, to say the least.
A Great time was had by all!; I'm sure my Dad couldn't wait to go back to work after our fun filled weekend.
